


mickey's firsts

by y0urfr13ndlygallawhore



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M, Mentioned Iggy Milkovich, Mentioned Svetlana Milkovich, Mentioned Terry Milkovich, Mentioned Yevgeny Milkovich
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:34:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26619808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/y0urfr13ndlygallawhore/pseuds/y0urfr13ndlygallawhore
Summary: A timeline of all of mickeys firsts
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Comments: 2
Kudos: 45





	mickey's firsts

The first time Mickey ever realized he might be different than his brothers was in 6th grade. 

He finished his homework and was going to ask Iggy to drive him to a friends house and he walked in on him jerking it to some lesbian porn. Mickey wasn't a stranger to the idea of porn but he has never indulged more due to the reason that he never had a chance to use the computer. Thankfully Iggy hadn't noticed he was there, so he slipped back into his room waiting until Iggy could get his hands off himself long enough to bring him over. 

He stole the computer in the middle of the night when he knew everyone was asleep and opened the computer. Nobody had used it since Iggy and his tab was still open. He clicked to the tab and started his video from the beginning. He watch and watched the video with nothing happening to him. If anything he just felt the need to look away and burn the computer. Still he persisted and continued on with the video will something to happen as he look at their tits on the screen. Nope. Nothing. Frustrated he slammed the computer closed and put it back so no one would realize that it had been missing. He didn't think anyone would care if it was he just didn't want to risk any questions that he wasn't willing to answer. 

The first time Mickey realized he might be into men was later that same year.

He though maybe his first time was a fluke and he was thinking too much about Iggy during it and that is what stopped him from successfully getting a boner. Once again he grabbed the computer off of the table and brought it back to his room. He opened it and found PornHub still open. 

"Jeez is this computer used for anything else?" he thought to himself. Wondering if his family needed help for the amount of times they were jerking off. He didn't really know what to do so he just found something that looked good enough to suffice. Once again he found the same problem it started with the girl naked sitting on a bed speaking to someone off camera. He felt annoyed by her soft voice and the breathy nature of it. She just wasn't turning him on no matter how hard he tried. He couldn't feel anything other than annoyance until her partner came on screen. He was lean, tanned, and completely nude. His dick suddenly felt interested in what he was watching. His voice was so much sexier it was deep and commanding, he felt himself getting hotter just listening to it. It was that night that he understood why his brothers spend their every waking moment on this computer. He didn't want to think to much about how he got off because it would send him into a place of self analyzation that he wasn't ready for. 

The first time Mickey ever got blown from a guy was in 8th grade. 

He was getting tired of his own hand and to be honest he though it was gonna get stuck in the shape of his dick. He ventured out to find someone to satisfy him. This wasn't his first blowjob at all he has had his dick blown 5 ways from Sunday from just about any girl that so much as sniffs him. It always take so much mental strength to get it up and to finish though so he stopped even trying with girls about 2 months ago. Ever since anytime he is alone he has his hand down his pants thinking about some piece of ass that he saw on the subway or walking home from school. 

He grabbed his biggest coat and his scarf that he hoped would hide who he was while he was walking over to boys town. If his father thought he was going over there for any other reason than beating someone up he would be dead before stepped through the front door. 

He saw a 15 year old dude standing near the alley smoking and he figured he must be here for the same reason as Mickey. With precaution Mickey walks over and also lights up his own cigarette. They strike up a conversation, nothing major just a average run of the mill conversation to pass the time. 

The guy puts out his cigarette and looks over at Mickey. 

"I'm bored, I don't wanna go home and I need something to put my mouth on. You wanna hummer?" He asks so straight forward that it takes him by surprise. He nods nonchalantly and follows him deeper into the alleyway. 

He starts to unbuckle his pants as the nameless guy sinks to his knees. He shoves his boxers down just to the point where the boy can take his dick in his mouth without any fabric in the way. Just from the start Mickey can already tell this is going to be better than any other time that someone had his dick in their mouth. He doesn't have to force himself to get hard just watching hold his dick was enough to make it stiffen. This is so much better than anything his hand could have given him tonight. It wet and it warm and it's sinfully pleasing. 

Mickey finishes quicker than he has with any previous blow job but the second it is over the self loathing kicks in. He thinks about what just happened about how the person who just had his dick in their mouth was a man. Terry's homophobic words ring in the back of his head. He pulls his boxers and pants up so quickly you would think he had super powers, mutters a quick thanks, and before the dude has anytime to stand back up he is leaving the alley making sure no one knew he was there. 

The first time Mickey ever fucked a man was in 10th grade 

He found himself once again outside of boys town trying to find someone to fuck. Angie Zhago was good enough at the moment but he craved something where he could actually relax when he was fucking. He wished every day that he would wake up in a tolerant house hold, in a tolerant town, in a tolerant world so he didn't have to keep up this persona. His friends would go out and fuck around with girls so easy it should have been a crime and as bad as Mickey felt for every single girl that his friends humped and dumped he wished he could have been one of them. He wished that it wasn't such a secret who he was fucking and that he could know for a fact that if he came out he would be accepted by everyone around him but this wasn't the case. He was surrounded by homophobes who would beat the shit out of him if he expressed his attraction to men. 

For this reason every single one of his sexual escapades down to the gay bar across town resulted in a quick hand job or a blowie and Mickey heading out to Timbuktu the second he finished. This time was going to be different he was going to actually fuck someone whether or not he had to fucking pay for it at this point. 

Luckily when he got in there he didn't have to wait long before someone came over and offered him a drink. He graciously accepted knowing he would be needing a drink if he didn't want to chicken out before he got someone here. 

It was 15 minutes before he found someone he wanted to fuck and who seemed just as happy to be getting attention from Mickey. He gave him a look and they both headed in the way of the bathroom. Once both of them were in there Mickey went and locked the door. He made sure to find someone who looked like a bottom so they didn't have to talk much and for once in his life he was right about something. 

"You have stuff?" The twink asked bending over putting his hands on the wall. 

Mickey grunted out a quick yes. The man wasn't really his type by any means but looking at his lean body had Mickey's dick twitching with interest. 

"Good. I came here prepped so you can just fuck me." The man blurted out desperately waiting for Mickey to do something. He was thankful that this wasn't going to go on too long and he would just be able to satisfy himself and get out of there. 

Being inside of another man was a pleasure Mickey was sure he would never achieve in his miserable life. It was warm and tight in a way it had never felt with a girl. The mans deep moans turning him on because they were nothing like the high pitched breathy moans of a girl. It felt so different and so good. He wasn't sure he was going to last long at this rate. The man was grinding back on his dick as he was thrusting like a mad man trying to reach his climax. He felt it bubbling in the pit of his stomach and his thrusts became more and more sporadic. 

With one final grunt he finished in the condom and pulled out not really caring whether or not his little boy toy had finished although he took one glance at the wall and could tell he did. 

"That was fun. Do you want to exchange numbers so we can do this again?" The boy asked. 

Mickey landed a firm punch on his jaw. He didn't know why he did that he had just fucked him and it was good enough that he would have wanted to do it again. Instead the internalized homophobic Mickey popped out there right at the end. He walked out of the bathroom leaving what ever his name was on the floor in pain as he escaped into the night. 

The first time Mickey ever got fucked by a man was Ian Gallagher at 18 years old. 

He was wondering how he ended up here. 2 minutes ago he was sleeping dreaming about a world without his father and now he had his faced pressed against his pillow and Gallagher's fingers massaging his prostate. He had never bottomed before but all he wanted was Gallagher in his ass. On a time crunch he urged Ian to get a move on. He will never admit it but he whimpered when Ian pulled his fingers out. He hoped that one day there would be a time when he could spend more that 50 seconds with Gallagher's nimble fingers working him open. That thought only made him impossibly harder. 

"Fuck Mickey" He heard Ian moan behind him as he bottomed out. Hips pressed tightly against Mickey's ass. If Mickey wasn't so terrified of anyone in the house hearing (and quite honestly himself) he would express to Ian how much he was enjoying this. He would give Ian the satisfaction of knowing that he would do anything to feel like this again. Instead he wordlessly let Ian know that he didn't have all day. 

They set up a rhythm and Ian continued to make his delicious sounds right in Mickey's ear so he was the only one that could here them. His hands were gripping the mattress so tightly he thought he was going to pierce right through them. He could tell Ian was close and to be honest so was he. 

Ian hit his prostate one more time before Mickey felt himself finishing all over the sheets with a muffled moan. Ian not too far behind. If he was in the head space he would be embarrassed about the fact that he was able to get off without even touching himself. Instead he focused on making sure that Ian and himself would be presentable if someone were to walk in. 

The first time Mickey ever had feelings for a man was Ian Gallagher at 19 years old. 

He opened the door to see a frantic redhead on the verge of tears looking for him. Mickey's heart broke at the sight and he wanted to do anything to get that pathetic look off his face. They had only been fucking for about 2 weeks and had only had maybe 3 or 4 small conversations but Mickey was being to truly enjoy the times he would walk to where ever Ian was to get some dick. He would act like Ian meant nothing to him even to Ian himself as he scoffed him off whenever the conversation was more that two sentences. Or when he would cut him off in the middle of a sentence just to get Ian in him but the truth was Mickey knew that if he started to openly express his happiness he wouldn't stop. He would rely to much on him and the was a sign of weakness in the Milkovich household. He wanted to let Ian know how much he wanted to be with him but his fear was much stronger than his happiness. 

That is why when Ian explained all that was going on all Mickey knew how to offer was sex. He knew that isn't what Ian needed. Ian was the kind of guy who liked to talk about how he felt. That was one of the things that Mickey admired about him. He knew that Ian wanted someone to talk to in that moment someone to hold him and tell him that everything was going to be fine. That he was going to be okay and everything would work itself out but Mickey couldn't provide that for him at the moment. 

Mickey isn't going to lie that scared the hell out of him. That he couldn't provide for Ian. As much as he didn't want to admit it. He felt something for the younger boy and he wanted to be the only one in his life. It already made him angry that Ian was fucking Kash when they first hooked up not just that Kash was a fucking pedophile who was praying on Ian (although that made him see red too) it was more the fact that Ian was looking to other guys for different things. 

"I'll meet you there in 20." was all he could muster out. 

The first time Mickey ever loved a man was at 23 years old. 

Truth be told Mickey had loved Ian for years at that point but with the army and the bipolar there was never a moment where he had a break to tell Ian everything that he felt about him. Over the phone didn't seem right either but it was then or it might have been never. He didn't know what was going to happen. He didn't know if he was going to see Ian or Yevgeny again but he had give himself peace of mind knowing that he told Ian. It would have ate away at him if he had never said it. 

He said I love you for the first time in front of Svetlana and to not risk getting too mushy or upset he just cut the conversation off there. Not going into all his feelings for Ian right there. He waited until everyone was in their room to call Ian again still receiving his voicemail. 

"Hi Ian. I didn't mean to scare you with the psych ward. I really didn't. I just didn't want to see you hurt yourself because God I just love you so much and I don't think I could be without you. Ironic right I wanted to send you there so I could get you better and we could be closer again but instead I drove you away even further from me." He chuckled humorlessly because this is the least funny situation he could ever imagine himself in. "I love you but I hate you for leaving me. I hate you for taking Yev away and going to god knows where. I hate that you wanted to get away from me but it's okay because I love you so much." He takes another breath because he doesn't want to start crying. "I love you you bonded with Yev so quick so he had a better father than I had. I love that when I couldn't talk to you about my feelings you understood. I love that every day you love me so I can love myself. I love you so much Ian and I want you to come back... please." 

The phone beeped indicating he message was as long as it could get. He hung up and prayed that Yev and Ian were both safe and were going to be happy where ever they went. If Mickey wasn't able to give it to them in the Milkovich household all he wants is for them to find it somewhere else. They both deserve it.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi I hope you enjoyed this. Once again sorry for any grammatical errors.


End file.
